New writing in progress....

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New writing in progress....

Post  Man-of-War on Wed Nov 28, 2012 8:59 pm

A planet called Neophet Templum was nestled in the far corner of the Imperium. Just on the outskirts of Segmentum Tempestus. In the early ages of this planets development, they tried to make the right choices coming to odd conclusions but living in a mostly peaceful way. Now their civilization works with the knight templar. The planets name being driven from the very gods that helped their civilization that they are now evolved into. Guiding them firmly but thoroughly toward a better people.

The planet was beautiful, unlike the name that attached to the planet, it was green and thriving, life being easily coaxed into existence by the farmers to feed the thriving population growing strong men and woman alike. The city's mirroring Terra's Ancient Greece very well. Democracy being the main theme of the Government, with the right to choose a champion if necessary.The majority of the people, the government being ruled by a senate. In the middle of the main capital, of the main continent , in the middle of the empire on the planet, was a large temple, were young men from everywhere came to prove their metal in all ways from Mentally to physically. Their endurance tested in all fashions. At the end of this process, most young men went home with the priest approval of a strong man, but a few, very few, disappeared from the world all together. Chosen by the gods to join them in their heavenly crusades. Sometimes not returning ever. Other's returning having ascended to the god's stature.

Over a thousand years ago, the gods left the world to the priest and people. Warning them. Stay away from the darkness and bask in the love and light of the Emperor. They would be back after a time to check on their process.

The Knight Templar, as the people had affectionately nicknamed them, left a weapon that would help them, if need arose. They warned the people to only use this at the end of all other options. This would summon the gods back to the surface of the planet to defend their home. It was named after the Primarch of knight templar, Dorn's Lantern. Instructions were left with a key for the highest priest in the temple, so that if need arose , they would know how to activate it.

A hundreds of years passed and truth turned to story, story to legend, legend became myth. It's been 1,032 years after the gods in black armor left many things can go wrong during this time and many things can change. The temple still stands proud throughout time with the silent priests in it still testing the youth.

...............................................................................................................

So there is my setting..... Will write more on it at a later time. I am a Rogal Dorn fan as well CKO. With Lion El'Jonson and Russ coming in second for the loyalists.


Last edited by Cunnin N Qwik on Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: New writing in progress....

Post  Man-of-War on Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:01 pm

A knight kneels praying. He prays in a room to himself with his eyes shut. While kneeling he knows why he was summoned to the Eternal Crusader. Marshal Eric the marshal of this crusading company lies dead. He finally hears a voice.

"Kailan get up and come with me."

I open my eyes to see a skull faced helm of the High Reclusiarch Grimaldus. I get up promptly and follow him down the hallway. Then we go into the holiest of rooms that the Eternal Crusader has the Temple of Dorn. There I see at the end of the red carpet at it's heart High Marshal Helbrecht with his ceremonial robes on. I look around and others of my battle company and the rest of Marshal Eric's crusading company are all here. Walking down towards the Helbrecht I keep remembering I'm only a Castellan over a single battle company how could I take on the role of my Master. I do not need this. I'm not worthy enough. I finally stop infront of the High Marshal. He gestured for me to kneel so I kneel.

"Kailan," the High Marshal spoke my name. His voice a loud rumble from all the orders he has yelled over thousands of crusades.

I close my eyes and bow my head, "Yes my leige."

"We have brought you here to honor you as you have honored us for so many years."
Kailan said nothing thinking it wasn't his time to speak. He thought back on all the battles he and his company has had in the past the deaths of battle brothers that fought next to him. The vows he has taken and accomplished. When he was elevated to be a Castellan his master Marshal Eric did a similar ceremony in his honor. Thinking back he could remember some if not all of it.

"We have summoned you," the High Marshal said, "to be judged this day."

"I have answered the summons," I say with confidence, "I summit to your judgement my leige."

"Eric is dead," Helbrechts voice was a light murmur. "Slain by the arch enemy. You Kailan has lost a master and commander. We have all of us lost a brother."

Suddenly the Temple of Dorn's silence was broken from the audience. Many where nodding in agreement. When the silence died down I kept my gaze on the floor.

"We mourn his loss," Helbrecht said, "but honor his wisdom in this, his final order."

I start to get doubts flow through my head at the sound of all of this. My knees and body stay locked in place though.

"Kailan warrior of the Eternal Crusade. It was the belief of Marshal Eric that you may rise to be the rank of Marshal over his Crusading company after he has fallen. Before his gene-seed was extracted his final decree was for you to replace him as the most skill full of his Castellans."

Slowly I raise my head to meet his waist seeing my old masters helm being held at the High Marshals side.

"Kailan," the High Marshal said without any emotion, "You are the most highly skilled out of Eric's Castellans. Plus one of the youngest to be in his sword brethren before that. So you are a veteran of the eternal war in your own right. It is also my belief that you be raised to the rank of Marshal over your former masters company."

I nod in agreement knowing what will come next.

"Rise if you wish to refuse this Honor," he finished, "Rise and walk away from this chamber if you will not want a place among the most noble Chapter."

Then finally the High Marshal draws the holiest of relics from it's sheaf at his side. The Sword of the High Marshals is a Relic from the Horus Heresy era. Was once wielded by Dorn himself then given to the First Emperor's Champion and honored son of Dorn Sigismond during the defense of the Emperor's Palace. Then after the emperor was wounded it was broken over Dorns knee only to be reforged again by Sigismund the First High Marshal once the Imperial fist legion was divided up into chapters. The Blade itself was as long as a mortal man was tall. Then he pointed the blade at my throat before speaking again, "I recognize you as inheritor of your Master's Mantle Kailan. Will you join the ranks as one of my Marshals and help me in the Eternal Crusade?"

"Yes my leige."

The High Marshal nodded then sheathed the relic.

I turned my cheek expecting the blow coming.

The High Marshal then backhanded Kailan. "I now dub thee Marshal Kailan of the Black Templars Chapter." Then he raised his hand showing the blood drawn from the club like slap. "Let that be one of the last blows you receive unanswered."

I look up to meet his gaze. "It shall be so my leige."

"As it should be," said the High Marshal, "Rise Marshal Kailan of the Eternal Crusade!"

I turn to look at my Crusading company of 400 strong with pride. Before long we will be going to another planet to wage war in the Emperor's name again. This ceremony I was given the Battlebarge Hammer of War as my flagship for my Crusading company. Along with two strike crusiers Sword of Dorn and Rightious Fury that will be commanded by two of my Castellans.

The High Marshal now speaks once more, "Now dismissed..." He turns to me, "Meet me at the bridge in 2 hours for orders."

"Yes my leige."
................................................................................................

Best I can do for now.




Last edited by Cunnin N Qwik on Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:58 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: New writing in progress....

Post  CKO on Thu Nov 29, 2012 5:56 am

Great job, but a marshall doesnt have a thousand marines and that amount of space craft wouldnt be enough for 1000 marines. He should have control of maybe 300-400 at most, which is nearly half a regular chapter. Only Helbrecht will ever have 1000 with him thats because he is the chapter master and has the ability to call up some marshalls to join him. He probably only hs 300-400 with him on the Eternal Crusader. Also the begaining of the second part you switch from 2nd person to 1st person it threw me off a bit, besides that it was a great start! I expect more and next time will be better than this time because we are growing with each addition we write!

I love Dorn! Twisted Evil
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Re: New writing in progress....

Post  Man-of-War on Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:49 am

CKO wrote:Great job, but a marshall doesnt have a thousand marines and that amount of space craft wouldnt be enough for 1000 marines. He should have control of maybe 300-400 at most, which is nearly half a regular chapter. Only Helbrecht will ever have 1000 with him thats because he is the chapter master and has the ability to call up some marshalls to join him. He probably only hs 300-400 with him on the Eternal Crusader. Also the begaining of the second part you switch from 2nd person to 1st person it threw me off a bit, besides that it was a great start! I expect more and next time will be better than this time because we are growing with each addition we write!

I love Dorn! Twisted Evil

Ok it was late and I was tired so edited. And actually the High Marshal would have the same amount roughly as any other crusade out there. Crusades range from 100 to 600 at most marines. So I think 400 would be enough.
I get where your coming from with the room and I'll add another battle barge and strike cruiser to compensate. Was wondering about that.
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Re: New writing in progress....

Post  Man-of-War on Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:54 pm

Finally Kailan makes it to the bridge. He sees the High Marshal staring out at the stars on the massive bridge. The chapter serfs and servitors all clicking buttons and pulling on small levers. An average day on the bridge for many of the servants here. None of this was the work of a crusader though.

The High Marshal turns to Kailan his face in a grimace, "Reports indicate that there is a recruiting planet in danger not far from here. Your crusading company must go there and save this planet. Astropaths on this vessel can't feel the warp around the planet. So I'm suspecting Xenos scum the Tyranids. Especially this far out on the rim of the Imperium. Do not fail." He grumbled a bit at the last part.

His voice echoed in Kailan's mind. Then Kailan stiffened, "Yes my leige. We will go right away."

Helbrecht then turns away, "Fight well Kailan. I know you've never faced a Xenos threat like this before. Only know what data we directly put in your mind on them once you became a initiate. They are a cunning foe in deed and care not for their kind dying."

Kailan had a moment to think. "We will fight to our last breathe my leige."

The High Marshal spoke once more in a less stern way, "I must take the remnants of my fleet somewhere else for more pressing matters. I mainly want the honor of promoting all the Marshal first hand. Farewell brother... You are dismissed to go do your sacred duty."

Kailan bowed his head, "Yes my leige." Then walked away towards the docking bay. On the walkway down from the bridge one of Kailans personal retinue caught up with him. The banner bearer Felrian was one of the youngest in Kailan's personal guard.

Felrian matched Kailan's pace, "So where are we off to my lord?"

Kailan grinned a bit, "To battle my banner bearer." Chuckles a bit at the enthusiasm in the banner bearer.

Felrian then nodded in agreement, "Well it's about time my lord. All this ceremonial stuff was really boring."

Finally the two made it to the docking bay where many of Kailans other battle brothers where presently in the process of being transported over to the Hammer of War. He also gathered from the transport logs that this is the last of his crusade company to be transported. He entered the transport and sat down next to the rest of his retinue plus his advisor Reclusiarch Arthas for whom fought by Kailan's side since they where both Neophytes in the chapter. The transport then took off towards the Hammer of War while they began to speak.

Arthas grumbled a bit through his skull faced helm, "So what is it this time Kailan? What shall we go and bring the Emperor's wrath upon."

Kailan shook his head a bit, "Easy brother.. We are going to war yes, but we must defend a recruiting planet that we haven't visited for a thousand years. The planet's civilians make real good recruits for our chapter so it must not be lost."

Arthas snorted, "You still aren't telling me what we are up against Kailan."

Kailan lowered his head a bit to look at the floor, "It's Xenos Arthas.... Xenos. Except this time it's a Tyranid branch of a fleet we must defend this planet from. I really don't know what to expect from this mission."

Arthas then placed a hand on Kailan's shoulder, "We will get through this. We've gotten through stickier situations than this brother."

Finally the transport lands and the passengers exit into the bay area. On the way out Kailan spoke once more with Arthas, "Old friend this is another one to go down in history for."

Arthas then cocked his head to the side, "You do know that we will survive this as I've told you before. Our faith is our shield."

Kailan agreed and turned away from him to walk up to the bridge of the Hammer. He entered the bridge to see many servitors and serfs working diligently at the consoles. Finally giving his first order at his new command post. He grinned, "Send a message to the Sword of Dorn and Righteous Fury. Give them the coordinance of the planet that the High Marshal sent to our computer."

The serf nodded that the message was sent.

Kailan motioned a prayer to the Emperor for guidance through the warp which they where about to embark upon. "Engage Jellar field and open a warp hole."

The Navigator in the navigator throne took off it's hat to reveal a 3rd eye that was closed. The 3rd eye is used to navigate through the warp. With the Jellar field intact they can guide the ship without being attacked by beings of the warp. One look of the 3rd eye will kill a normal human. The throne then ascended to a special compartment.

Kailan watched as the warp hole opened. Then the battle barge passed into the warp with the Cruisers in tow.
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